Some thoughts from Charles Saatchi

Charles Saatchi (2012) Be the worst you can be, London: Booth-Clibborn Editions

‘With lots of money in your wallet, you are wise, you are beautiful, and you can sing well.  But if you want to know what God thinks about money, look at the people he gives it to.’ (p.23)

‘Don’t be irreplaceable; if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.’ (p.45)

‘Don’t scratch your head pondering how to analyze commercial like these.  I assure you no sentient intelligence was invovled in any process of producing the advertisement.

Neither the manufacturer nor the advertising agent had even the mollusc of an idea about how to promote their car, so they hired a hack director to come up with a striking visual mnemoinc, striking onl in its ireelvance and dimwittedness (cars with crabs on beach).  I would be most surprised if it sold any cars whatsoever.  That’s the nice thing about the advertising business; it provides sgainful employement for people like me, who are a bit on the dense side.’ (p. 66)

‘I know that the phrase ‘always a bridesmaid, never a bride’ originates from an advertisement for Listerine mouthwash from 1924 … I know Colgate faced problems in Spain marketing thewir toothpaste, because Colgate in Spainish translates into ‘go hang yourself ‘ … I know that Ringo Starr appeared in an advertisement for aple sauce in Japan.  His name means ‘apple sauce’ in Japaanese’. (p. 76-77).

‘Never pick a fight with someone who buys ink by the barrell’ (p. 87)

‘What’s the future for advertising?
Rosy.  More consumers are being created by the minute around the world, and the growth in regions that were unexplored by Starbucks, McDonalds and Procter and Gamble are now the burgeoning markets for America’s favourite little companies.
All over the globe ad men are getting a little richer every day, you will be happy to know.’ (p. 133)


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